At The End Of The Day

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I have come to realize something when I started blogging about autism and my struggles. At the end of the day, no one knows what goes on in my head but me.

For example. My mom child shames me because I am not her definition of an adult. Her definition is someone with the personality of a can of paint. Not allowed to have fears, not allowed to have feelings, no allowed to feel nostalgic. And so on.

She needs to understand that shaming me will not motivate me to be how she wants. I need to learn to accept that.

Why would I want to be apart of a culture that judges people based on their views?

I talk about how ‘act your age’ can be damaging to ND folks.

I am not a child because I am not my mom’s stereotypical version of an adult. Talking about bills and taxes and crap.

Another thing. I had trouble getting my mom to accept that I wanted to work from home. Due to my struggles with employment. Sensory limitations; finding a regular job was quite hard. I decided to work from home. I already to YouTube and blogging. I decided to build that and make that my job. I post content on cryptocurrency sites, I monetized my blog, I am now able to upgrade my YouTube stuff and add affiliate links to my stuff so new YouTubers can have ideas.

My mom constantly brining up a job, I felt as though she will not accept that I want to work from home

I explain here and how autism will complicate employment for me, thus why I made the choice to be my own boss.

My mom didn’t agree with working from home because I will be ‘stuck in the house.’ But. If I have a laptop (which I do now) I can go to let’s say Starbucks just to change up the scenery. Maybe I will see someone who wants to chat.

Just because I am not talking face to face doesn’t mean I am not socializing. Sometimes I prefer to chat ( text, email, DMs, etc because I can think about what I want to say. No pressure.

I need to accept that my mom will not agree with me on somethings. No amount of convicting will change that. It may work sometimes. I have been convincing her since day one to stop shaming me for ‘acting like a child’ she still does it. I will never be the boring, drone-like she wants.

My mom thinks I am trying to make people feel sorry for me. No, I want people to understand that not everyone is born with the same capabilities as the other guy.

Big difference. I want these folks to stop stigmatizing all young folks as lazy. Some of us tried seeking employment but were turned down, never heard back. You can be born with an illness that makes you tired. You think an illness will spare someone because they are ‘young?’ That’s my point. If you listen and open up, you can learn something. Something you never thought of before. That is my point. However, my points are always twisted to fit what the person wants.

Even if I can change one mind, it’s still better than nothing at all.

Also guilting someone for being depressed because ‘they have things’ is a dick move. Celebs, who are so-called rich. Have depression. Their money can’t talk to them, their car can’t talk them out of suicide, their 10K home can’t be there for them. Their hot-tub can’t hug them and tell them it’s here for them. Their job can’t talk them out of self-harm. This is a chemical imbalance. This is NOT the same as being sad for failing a test. You can take the test again or learn from your mistakes. One can’t bounce from mental illness so easily.

Judge less. Help more.

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