Growing Up With Religious Folks

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What does religion have to do with autism?

Well, let me tell you. I have been silent about this. It’s about time I speak up. Vent. I couldn’t grasp that my folks are religious. If I had to rate how religious my folks are, I’d have to push that scale.  Break that scale. Do whatever to that scale. I think my mom and my folks down south are the super religious ones.

I quietly detached from religion. It seems like nowadays people use the bible as a cover-up to justify their actions.

These are just my thoughts. I may be exaggerating. My folks heavily raised me on religion. They sent me to a Catholic school and I am not even Catholic. So you can guess what I am. My folks claimed they send me to that school because the schools in the city are bad and the school they wanted to be in was full. They couldn’t find any schools in suburban areas? Not to mention this school had zero support me for and I was undiagnosed with autism. But my folks knew about ADHD.

I strongly feel that my mom uses God to control what I can say and like. My mom used God to tell me what I can’t like.

I would say ‘oh my God’ and my mom will say I am using his name in vain. Vain means bad right? If I am using it in a bad context, I can see it. If  I see someone get hit by a car for instance and say ‘oh my God,’ how is that using his name in vain. Maybe my mind is not in a good state to understand these things. Having it shoved in my face doesn’t help.

There are too many unwritten rules.

I feel that I do not need anything like that.

My aunt is extremely religious. She is a Jehova’s Witness. Or she was religious.

She made me read the bible every night. She had a better version that I could read better.  Made me go to the Kindom Hall with her, where Witnesses worship.

Back in 2015, my mom made me go to my grandma’s church. I simply cannot go to church due to the loud music, crowds and being forced to make physical contact (when people take hands during prayer.)

Autistics do not like crowds, loud music, and forced physical contact. Imagine your religious mom making you go to church thus making you sit through all of your sensory issues for 2+ hours.

My folks have forced going to church on me all my life. Saying I ‘need’ to go to church I never wanted this life. When you think about it I am doing this for the wrong reasons. I’m not doing it because I am passionate but because someone is making me. It’s like I can’t be myself.

My mom never let me watch Harry Potter because ‘magic goes against God.’

Harry Potter seemed cool.

My mom got mad because I don’t pray over my food one time.

My mom made me write her an essay on bible verses because I was thinking about taking online classes one time. \

I believe that having something forced on me did more damage than letting me slide into it when I was ready.

I managed to worm my way out of it. All of this was forced on me.

She couldn’t accept that I just lost touch. I lost interest. You wanna follow a religion of acceptance but can’t accept my wishes.

Forcing religion on me will not make me any more interested. It will push me further. It gives me the impression that people force you into something. I don’t like forcing things on people. I just do not want to associate with having something pushed onto me. I believe that could be damaging to me.

There are kids who’s parents accept if they are not religious. My, I wish I had that.

It tells me. So you have to resort to force to get what you want?

 Religion isn’t for everyone. It’s not for me. It has too much to understand. I think having all of that on me is more damaging than helpful. My mom cannot grasp that forcing all of this on me could play a role in why I am so mentally messed up.

I barely understand the world around me and my mom wants to give me a shitload of stuff to remember and keep up with and I can’t even keep up with the world.

I don’t want to be forced into a community that may not accept me. I dealt with that on a regular basis being in school. So my folks want to possibly put me through that all over again. I feel free without religion.

I made a video about this on my Verond channel. I like having video versions to avoid my posts being too long.

I made an older video.

Having your folks force something on you that you don’t want to associate with is like trying to fit a 3 ping plug into a socket with 2 holes.

I wish my mom would just let me be me.

This is one of the reasons why I started YouTube and Blogging. I had religion forced on me my entire life. I had to associate with it because someone was making me. Making YouTube videos and blog posts. I have control. I want to take control when I can. Back then I had no control.

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