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Looking At The Big Picture

May 23, 2020

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I couldn’t figure out what I wanted to do as a job. I wanted to do YouTube full-time until they made it hard for smaller channels to show ads. At first, YT changed its rules to 10K total channel views. I had an older channel I still got money from. The current channel I had was grandfathered somehow and I got money from YouTube premium viewers. Then I found and wanted to blog full-time on there. I also told you in 2017 I went through the most useless job program ever.

My impression is that they would prepare me for the job I am trying to get. In my case, I want a job involving a computer and preparing me for that. More like the program was useless with my issue with employment. My mom wanted me to work in a retail job. She thinks I can just stock shelves but that is not how retail works. She really things they are ONLY going to have me stocking?

Retail tends to switch around your schedule and/or position.

Also, it will be hard getting an off-day approved for doctor’s appointments.

If I work from home guess how many issues I’d have getting needed time off. 0. Even if issues occur I can adapt easier. Wifi goes out? Go to a library or anywhere else with wifi. If I want to travel? I buy a laptop for that purpose.

It never occurred to her that a constantly changing schedule or position will overwhelm me. She claimed that the doctor told her that I need a job that doesn’t have a lot of people and low stress but thinks RETAIL is low stress and doesn’t have many people. 

Adults with autism need jobs that work for THEM, NOT YOU. My mom can see a disabled man at Walmart but doesn’t understand maybe his circumstances are different than mine. It’s easy to accommodate people with physical disabilities. If they need a chair due to a hip injury bam! Give them a chair high enough so they can still do their job if the person is a cashier. If they can’t reach and climb find them a lift or something. My accommodations are different than for someone who is physically impaired.

I originally wrote this in 2018 or 2019. When I look back I still need to keep in mind, only I know what’s best. Doctors can give their take and you can agree or disagree. In the end, only I know what job will work for me.

Lot’s of things have to be factored in. Mental illness makes you tired quickly. And my IBS would make jobs hard. Some employers love to control people’s bodies, look at Amazon, I’ve read they have to do their business in bottles because there is little time to go to the bathroom. If I work from home, I can set up camp in my bathroom and no one can punish me for it. Depending on how mentally or physically draining the job is, I’ll need a break frequently. My mom thinks working a retail job is the only way to start from the bottom. I can start from the bottom by testing websites and giving feedback. Which can bump up to me having my own small empire?  Whoever I am testing apps for, I can observe how they run their thing, things they need, etc. Their marketing strategy.

There are a bunch of ways I can get a start but my mom thinks retail is the only way. Some actors may start as extras or short appearance roles and they bump up along the way to eventually being a main character in the show. 

My mom needs to understand that I need a job that works for ME not what works for her. Retail doesn’t work for me due to all the people, fast pace, constant changes, etc.

I decided to work from home. My mom didn’t accept it since it wasn’t a retail job, which she has been pushing me to get since that useless job program. When I went through that program and the coach did mock interviews. I fu*ked up on the tell me about yourself questions. I said that I helped out a lady who braided my hair for the summer, watched my cousin for my uncle when he ran errands. The coach proceeds to ask me how does it relate to the job. Couldn’t think of anything. See, I have done nothing related to retail yet my mom wants me in the industry. However. If I wanted to start a video editing service, I can say that I edit for my YouTube channel at this moment.

Also what led me to believe she wouldn’t accept my choice and wanted me to work in retail. When I went through that joke program she wouldn’t shut up about Walmart. Last year she planned on taking me to Marshal’s and/or Burlington to talk to the manager about giving me a job. After I told her I wanted to work from home. I told her working from home helps my anxiety to spare me the crowds. She wouldn’t budge. Then when we went to Target she asked one of the ladies if they hired autistic people. I tried getting out of it by saying Target turned me down(this is a true story) but it did not work. My mom wants me to socialize and think a job is the only way I can do that. My mom basically has the same mentality of wanting your kid to be a lawyer because that’s what you want them to be. I also wrote a blog post about that.

Look at the big picture. My mom needs to learn to accept I am not working in retail so she can give up. I don’t mean to sound entitled. Lord knows how with one work I am taken out of context and I’m a bad person. I mean retail will not work for me. I have explained this in a previous blog post(s). I felt working from home will provide something positive for me. It will allow me to build my skills. I bet someone who works in retail can confirm I would not be able to handle it just by reading previous blog posts.

Aspies suck at socializing which can discourage them from activities that pertain to social interaction. Pushing them to socialize won’t get you great results.

I prefer to be introverted so I won’t be taken out of context and labeled a bad person for it, I won’t have to worry about saying the wrong thing when I didn’t intend to. Some of us prefer to be introverts due to the reasons I listed. This doesn’t mean the same thing for everyone.

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