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As an adult on the autism spectrum, there are some things that I wish people understood about it. some people are under the impression that your problems go away when you’re 18. This is false. Think of it as a physically disabled kid in a wheelchair and assuming when they turn 18 they should be able to walk. Disabilities don’t go away. If you can’t expect a physical disability to go away when the person is 18, then you shouldn’t assume autism goes away. Or any other hidden disorder.
Stereotypes Actually Hurt Is
When it comes to famous people on the spectrum like Sheldon from ‘The Big Bang Theory’ or Temple Grandin, expecting your aspie to be like these people is actually harmful to them rather than inspiring. If you wouldn’t do this to someone with a visible disability, then don’t do it to us. People view autism as a walk in the park. This is not the case for some of us.
We Have Feelings
There is a myth that we are ’empathetic,’ I’d like to say that this is FALSE. Just because we do not react how you would want us to doesn’t mean we are heartless. When my aunt died, my folks back home did cry. You would expect the same reaction from me. Instead, I reacted with anger saying things like ‘they didn’t try to save her,’ and ‘why does God take the good people and leave the evil ones?’ Or ‘no one in AR or TN could have helped her, this is bullshit.’ Because my aunt had cancer and had to travel to Georgia to get treatment. ‘F*k cancer.’ You get the idea. There is no ‘right’ way to react to things like death. Therefore just because someone reacts in a different way doesn’t mean they don’t care.
Vaccines Do Not Cause Autism
This is another myth that is false. Let me drop some basic biology on you. Autism is a condition you’re BORN with. Kids don’t get their first vaccine until they are 6 months I think(or 1 year old). How can a vaccine cause something you’re born with? I think this is an excuse to not vaccinate your kids. Although vaccines have nothing to do with autism, it’s sad that people hate us this much they rather their kid be sick or dead than autistic. Although being an autism parent isn’t easy, autism can’t kill you but the measles can. Autism can be managed with proper protocols but smallpox isn’t that simple.
We are not using our condition as a crutch
I am so sick of being told this. All I do is merely explain how it’s difficult to manage certain things. These problems that I have are caused by autism. I didn’t wake up and decide to be like this. I wish people understand that it is rough for us every day in a black and white world and all we need is an ear to vent to. Stop brushing off our hurdles as excuses or holding other people accountable. If they don’t want to take the time to learn about autism, learn how we operate, that is not our fault. Stop gaslighting.
We should not be denied help ‘because we’re adults’
Being an adult with autism is worse because you lose the support you had when you were a kid/teen. Depending on the age in your country. When you turn a certain age you are considered an adult. I am in the USA so the age is 18. When you pass 18, you are an adult. I struggled even more since then since the help I got stopped. Like if I have to be somewhere and I need someone in the room in case I am told something I don’t understand, then the person with me can help me out. Now I am denied this request because I am seen as an adult. Whether someone is an adult or not, denying someone with a disability of any kind their request is wrong. Would you deny a handicapped person a ramp? Would you deny a blind person their wand thing? Would you deny a deaf person a sign language translator? Then don’t deny our request to have someone in the room if we need to see a doctor or something. Ableism exists for all disabilities but it seems it is more common for people with hidden disabilities than visible ones.
We do struggle with jobs
We do struggle to hold down jobs. There are some of us that can hold down work. However, this is a very small amount. It’s not that we can’t do the job, it’s just that we don’t have the support we need, the acceptance that we need. We cannot function in the setting that we need. The workforce is made for neurotypicals by neurotypicals. We are not like the Nts. The things they can handle would overload us. It’s hard for us to get on SSI because we are held on the same standard and someone who is able to hold down a job. When it comes to a disorder that affects everyone differently, you will see a stigma surrounding it. They think like this. Joe works at Walmart, you can too. Tom does X, you can too. Sarah does that, so can you. Just because one thing works for someone else doesn’t automatically mean it will work for me or you or for someone else.
We are trying. Just because we aren’t trying the way you want us to doesn’t mean we are not trying. You can only hold on for so long. I am working towards having my crypto blogs as a full-time job. I may not be going for something my folks want me to go for, but I am going for something.
We Have Trouble Understanding, We Are Not Doing It To Piss You Off
Most of not all of us can’t understand verbal directions. If you give us directions in a way we can’t understand, it will be extremely hard for us. If I cannot understand what my mom wants me to do, she gets annoyed. Like I asked to be autistic. Understand we are not doing it to make you mad. We are not doing it on purpose. All we ask for is patience.
I think it’s more or less how the autistic brain processes vs the NT brain. I don’t have an NT brain so I cannot explain the difference. You need to ask an Nt person how well they understand certain instructions. NT=neurotypical. And then perhaps I can give you a better comparison.
The only thing I can say is to picture a highway.
We are not ‘stupid.’ Today’s culture likes to generalize folks who are different as less than which is not true. If you stop generalizing you’d see we are brighter than you think. All it takes is patience and understanding.