Off-Topic

What I Mean When I Say My Mom Doesn’t Understand Me

December 6, 2021

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I feel as though my mom doesn’t understand me. I can never get across what I mean because she cuts me off (I feel that way) I am going to put together what I am trying to say when I say my mom doesn’t understand the autistic experience.

I try to push my mom away from seeking my help when she has issues with her health because I am a liability.

If she cannot speak properly, I cannot understand her due to my auditory processing disorder. It’s like Youtube’s auto-captions, it heard differently than what was actually said. If my mom cannot communicate to where I can understand, how can I speak for her to a doctor? The doctor can’t do anything until they know what’s wrong. She should download talk to text on her phone so if she is rendered unable to speak, she can use the talk to text to communicate to the doctor. Phones are paramount for disabled/chronically ill people.

She thinks I am being negative to ruin her day but she needs to understand things from a mental illness brain. Mental illness brains do NOT see the same thing as a neurotypical brain. I feel if she understood mental illness brain seeing differently she wouldn’t hound me for being down like I enjoy doing it. Anxiety can make you doom and gloom although it’s not actually that serious.

She is also autistic, however, I feel she doesn’t understand other aspects of autism. Its not cut and dry how an autistic will struggle

I feel she doesn’t understand auditory processing disorder. I explain it like YouTube auto-subtitles, they hear differently than what was said. I’ve had this problem when I was younger. My mom brushed it off as wax in my ears. Now my ears gotta be stopped up for that to be the case. My mom pulls the not listening card. She thinks NT principles apply to me. It seems to be implied. I can listen and still not catch what you said because my brain couldn’t process it on the receiving in. Both my ears AND my brain gotta work together. My mom will never understand this as long as she continues to hold me on Nt standards with receiving information.

I feel she compares me to others and that is something you don’t do. While I was in the process of fighting my disability case. She said ‘there are high-functioning autistic adults your age, working’ but what’s the %? Maybe the tiny percent who are working found something that works for them. I feel as though my mom thinks because retail works for some she assumes it will work for me. It seems to me, she thinks I’d be able to move out of this house with what Walmart would pay me. I have a much better chance of doing that with my content creation. My mission was to find a job that works for me, my mom saw it as not wanting to work, being afraid to work, or being stubborn. I am not stubborn because some folks don’t want to accept that being abused 5 days a week is not the only job that exists.

I will start creating guilds to help parents understand their autistic children. I don’t want the next-gen autistic kids to go through what I did when I was little because my folks knew I had ADHD but didn’t want to get me help. I cannot say for sure if it would have been that much better, I feel the teachers would have removed me from the setting that was overwhelming me instead of punishing me.

I feel like my mom expects me to read minds to know what she wants instead of communicating. When we were on our way back from our trip down south, after we got on the bus my mom was saying like ‘don’t just stand there, help me.’ Listen. I can NOT read minds. My mom at times said she shouldn’t have to tell me. The way I see it, you don’t need help. I cannot read your mind to know what you want from me. It’s not that hard to say, ‘hey come help me with my bike.’ If a simple ‘please help me with X at Y time’ then you don’t need my help. SO don’t get mad at me because a simple ‘please help me mow the lawn at noon tomorrow’ is too much effort.

If you expect me to read your mind, that will cause more problems than saying, hey I need help with X. Y’all making it way harder than it has to be expecting me to decode what you want. I don’t have the spoons to play Blues Clues to figure out what you want from me.

I just feel like I am being punished for being in a world that doesn’t understand me. I didn’t ask to be different. As a matter of fact, I don’t want it. But hey its MY fault im in a world that doesn’t get me and doesn’t want to take the time to get me.

If working from home is better for me mentally and physically, I want that to be respected. Not holding it against me. I get that back in 2018-2019, I was only getting 3/4 cents a post on my crypto blog. it took 4 months to get one dollar (speaking 1 dollar in the site’s credits) however, I’ve applied to places and no one called me back. My mom was there. Also, it costs money to get a job. How could I buy the clothes I need, get to work, have money to eat, have money to buy what I need with no money starting out.

I feel my mom doesn’t understand sensory issues. This can be for textures in food, on clothes, temperature, lighting, etc

People communicate their emotions the way they know-how to by nature. I feel instead of child shaming me, she could give me advice on healthier ways to communicate my thoughts.

I feel my mom doesn’t understand I don’t know how others perceive my tone. To her, I have an attitude but I’m trying to get my point across. I feel boomers were trained to think our every intention is a ploy against them, it’s not.

I feel my mom doesn’t understand she’s not going to get the reaction she wants out of me getting mad and yelling etc.

I feel my weaknesses can’t be accepted. We are all born with different capabilities. I feel as though I am ashamed for having limitations like I’m supposed to be a superhero because I am ‘young’ I hate the stigma that surrounds younger folks. I feel this is why younger folks are not believed when they have disabilities because of the ‘you’re too young for X’ card

I wouldn’t have an attitude if my every intention wasn’t twisted like I am doing something to make you mad.

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About Me

Jazz Williams

I am a content creator, streamer blogger. i will blog about all things being a content creator, tech reviews, first impression game reviews.

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