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Most of not all kids with autism will have the disorder go unnoticed. When I was maybe 4 or 5, originally I was diagnosed with ADHD. Growing up having your ADHD/autism traits read as being naughty or difficult doesn’t make things better
When I first started this blog, I made a blog post explaining how horribly my folks treated me when I was little. Because they constantly saw my autism trait as being naughty.
My folks thought it was a bright idea to send a disabled child to a Catholic school where not a single person had any training on how to handle autistic kids.
My aunt mistook me not understanding what she wanted me to do as ignoring her or being disobedient. Being yelled at and hit did not help me.
I felt like what my folks did to me was abuse. You can’t ‘punish out’ a neurological condition. I feel my folks chose not to get me help, this is just an anxiety brain talking
because my folks wanted to stick with their beliefs that I am being naughty. If they took me to a therapist, I feel the doc would have told them to remove me from that school and to stop sending me to my aunts since they were not helping my case.
when my grandma wanted to use a dog to scare me straight. How can I learn my lesson fearing for my life from my own family? It made me not trust them.
My mom not letting me eat when I ‘acted up.’ How can I ‘learn my lesson’ hungry?
When my mom and grandma wanted to lock me in the room with the rat. How can I ‘learn my lesson’ sick/dead? Rats carry diseases. You don’t know where they been. I am talking about if the rat bit me, the dog attacked me. Prisoners get 3 meals a day no matter what they did. You don’t put your child near animals if you do not know where they been crawling.
My mom admits that she knew something was wrong other than ADHD. Rather than trying to find a therapist that can run further examinations, she does the most asinine things. Like above. Not letting me eat, wanting to lock me in a room with a rat, etc.
Taking away playtime is one thing. Not letting a child eat? I confronted my mom about it and she said it was a ‘punishment.’ Letting a child go hungry is child abuse. Only a monster thinks it OK to not let a child eat as a ‘punishment.’
I have a reason to hold my folks accountable. As a child, legally I could not go to a doctor on my own. A parent has to escort you, sign your papers, etc.
She assumed I was bad because ‘that is how she was raised’
She was treating me like you would a NT child for acting up for not getting their way.
Autistic brains are different than NT brains.
I missed out on field trips because of my autism traits being seen as acting up.
My mom was stuck on how she was brought up.
At that school there were no social workers I could go to. At least the social worker could tell the teacher what they needed to do.
When my grades were slipping. My folks assume I didn’t want to try when I was not being taught how I could understand the lesson.
We just need to learn the lesson in a way that we can absorb it.
Think about how my grades would have been if I had the proper accommodations on the lesson, school work, homework.
Growing up with your autism traits read as being naughty, due to being undiagnosed only causes more trauma to the person growing up.
Raising even a NT child how you were raised is not right. No one should be screamed at for being human.
My folks would tell me they love me but threatened to hurt me. Love is abuse to them? How can I trust someone claiming they love you and wanna hurt you to teach you a lesson?
Even if it was only to ‘scare me right’ the fact that you resort to making someone think they are in danger to teach them a lesson gave me a right to not trust my folks.
My aunt had loads of work to due after she heard about the diagnosis to make me trust her again.
I use how my folks treated me as a message for parents to not automatically assume the kid is being bad. Find out what is going on. Are they being bullied? Are they having trouble in class? Can’t see the board? Get it sorted out instead of thinking punishments are gonna fix it
If the kid is being bullied, schedule a meeting with the teacher or principal. If the kid can’t see the board, get them to an eye doctor. If the lesson is too difficult, work with the teacher to get it modified. Actually, take action rather than punish. If your child can’t see the board, punishing them won’t make their vision better, getting them glasses will. Unlearn what your parents taught you. They have no idea how to raise a disabled child. Autism, ADHD have been around forever. These dystopian measures are why the issues are not brought to light.
Imagine if the lesson was too hard for you to understand how is punishing you gonna make it easier?
I don’t bring this up to guilt my folks, but make them understand punishments won’t fix the behavior if something else is behind it like being bullied.
For example; an autistic child does not understand a rule and asks the teacher so they can understand. The teacher saw it as talking back rather than wanting to understand the rule better.