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Are Kids Being Taught To Be Perfectionist?

February 25, 2020

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Are kids being taught being perfect? When kids make mistakes they are punished for it. When adults make them same mistake it’s no big deal.

I was on Facebook and I came across a thread that mentions this topic about how kids are punished for small mistakes that adults get no consequences for.

You can see the thread on this Facebook Page

Followed with this quote.

‘Same goes for spilling, staining their clothes, losing money, etc. These are all things that happen in adulthood that no one is punished for. So why are you punishing the tiny human? What lesson are you teaching? Don’t do it again? Don’t do what? Make mistakes? Because newsflash…’

The people on the thread also share their experience with being harshly punished over something so small.

This is damaging to children and will cause them to develop a serious mental illness in the long run. I think this is one of the reasons why I do not like being touched outside of my autism. Because of how many times my aunt hit me over little things.

Due to the trauma I faced from being hit my entire childhood, I flinch whenever someone gets too close. I wish my aunt knew how much damage she did to me hitting me for nothing. She probably felt bad when she realized I am autisitc but my folks never knew at the time.

I talked about it in a video on my YouTube channel as well.

This can damage both NT and autistic kids. Kids are young and barely learning the world around them. They are not spilling milk to make you mad or whatever reason you have to punish them. You’re literally crying over spilled milk punishing a child because they spilled a glass of milk. Spilled something? You can clean it up, spilled on their clothes? You can wash them. Broke a dish? You can easily replace it. Stop with unnecessary violence over minor incidents. I can understand intentionally disobeying you. But for small things, really? I am not trying to tell you how to raise your kids but punishing them for being humans is not teaching them anything. Would you want your boss assaulting you if you spilled something?

Probably not. Then you shouldn’t take it out on the poor child.

A 90 y/o can spill things. How is a 5 y/o any different?

Mistakes help you learn. If you run out of gas you learn to know your car better. If you trip your alarm system you learn to check if it’s activated before you open the doors.

If you forget to pay your phone bill you learn a method to pay on time.

However, parents are teaching kids mistakes are wrong instead of how to avoid it in the long run. When I went through that useless job program, I learned to ask questions. When that lady invalidated my autism and I struggled throughout the program as a result, I learned to not work with someone who doesn’t know anything about autism. I should have told that lady straight up I am not working with someone who outright disregards and refuses to understand my hurdles. I should not have cared if she got mad she was wrong for acting like she knows everything disregarding my stuff. 

I was not placed properly through out the program as a result.

If your kids are spilling milk, buy them a reusable bottle with a lid. Dropping glass plates, buy paper plates.  Staining their clothes, get them a bib. Find a solution to the problem. Punishing them only teaches them mistakes are wrong and will only make them afraid to wanna do anything.

On that thread linked, someone said they spilled something on their teacher’s desk and started paniking. The teacher had to reassure them that he/she was not mad. I could imagine the poor treatment they got for small things. You will make them afraid to make mistakes. Your kids should not have to be afraid to tell you things.

Parents, please stop punishing your kids for small mistakes. This will take a huge toll on their mental health.

Take it from me. My aunt slapping me for every little thing only taught me I’m supposed to be perfect.  Jesus, how long will it take to clean up spilled water? It’s water, not acid!

Things happen. Why do you think they make TVs, because yours will die eventually.

Why do you think washming machines exist? Your clothes will get dirty and smelly!

We are humans. We are not machines. Humans make mistakes. This perfectionist culture is draining on one’s mental health.

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