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Things you shouldn’t say to an autistic person.
Sometimes you may mean well. However, these phrases actually do the opposite. Things are some things you should never say to someone with autism. Ya’ll should realize these phrases don’t help us at all.
1.”You Don’t Look Autistic”
This is NOT a compliment. This is not a compliment because autism doesn’t have a ‘look.’ I don’t understand why people say this. Autism is neurological. Something that affects your brain is not visible. If you Google people with autism, they will look like regular folks. They won’t have a ‘look’ that indicates they’re autistic.
2. “You’re Not Autistic Because You….”
Never invalidate someone’s autism because of a few things they can do “just fine.” Just because someone can drive doesn’t mean they’re not autistic. So you’re saying autistic people aren’t allowed to do anything? It sounds like that to me. When I tried a program that I thought would help me find work, the counselor they gave me had the nerve to tell me I am not autistic because of ‘how I talked.’ As a result, I was not placed correctly during the program and struggled. Everyone with autism is different. We learn differently, adapt differently, etc. Grouping us all together will cause someone to struggle. I wrote a blog post where a counselor told me I wasn’t autistic because of “how I talk.”
As a result of the lady refusing to believe I am autistic, I didn’t get the right help throughout out the program.
You’re implying that autistic folks are not allowed to do anything. What are we supposed to do? Play with our thumbs?
3. Everyone Is A Little Autistic
That is not how autism works. It’s like being pregnant. Either you’re prego or not. No one says ” I am a little pregnant.'” Although non-autistics can have struggles that are very alike, it doesn’t affect their lives 24/7 365 days a year like us. They don’t struggle in school or at work because of autism,
4. My X Has Autism And They Y
Have you ever explained the issue(s) you face with your autism and someone will compare you to their cousin, friend, etc? Remember we are all different. Autism is a SPECTRUM for a reason. You can’t expect thousands of people with autism to be the same. It won’t happen.
Last but not least. And I hate this one.
5. You’re Using Your Autism As an Excuse
The person is explaining their struggles for Pete’s sake and you condemn them for it? Do you think we don’t like crowds for the hell of it? Just because someone explains their struggles with any disorder doesn’t automatically mean it’s an excuse. NTS commonly used this one just because they don’t struggle as we do. Their brains are different than ours.
I lied. I still have a few more. I want to add that unemployed autistic adults are not ‘lazy.’ Stigmas and ableism in the workplace keep us from gaining or keeping a job. We want to work but our traits make performing a job difficult. No, we are not ‘retarded.’ Autistic people are brighter than you think. You just label them as retards just because they don’t know YOUR interests or they don’t know a certain thing. You learn every day. If you burn the food you learn to cook it at a lower temp. If you run out of gas you learn to better know your car. There is always room for learning and no one is stupid or retarded because they haven’t learned yet.
Believe it or not, we are trying. It’s hard being in a world that is not made for you. All we want is your understanding and acceptance.