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The Pressure To ‘Act Your Age’

March 5, 2020

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Have you been shamed for not acting your age? Have you been shamed for not liking something ‘age appropriate?’ Understand how pressuring your aspie to ‘act their age’ is acutally damaging to them.

I disagree with the idea that X is for kids and X is for adults. Some adults may wanna watch Paw Patrol with their kids or relive their childhood.

It shows us that we can’t be accepted for who we are and have to change ourselves/what we like to please people. Aren’t you supposed to teach us the opposite?

Parents, why do you preach to the heavens that we need to be ourselves but make us feel bad for it because we’re adults?

Just like that episode of Spongebob when Squidward told Spongebob to act more ‘normal’ when he did he eventually got sick of Spongebob’s ‘normal’ behavior. People are not satisfied either way.

Believe it or not, pressuring us to act our age and like age-gated things will do damage to us, not motivate us. As to the acting our age, we are developmentally delayed.

Take a NT child, he can start crawling at 4 months and an autistic child may not crawl until 7 months.  Shaming an autistic teen for liking hello kitty, because you think it’s only for kids, is basically coming down on someone for being their authentic self.

SO what if your 20 y/o likes Bratz. My mom made fun of me because I still like to watch iCarly. Or at least I felt like she was  making fun of me. That very show was one of the reasons I started YouTube because I always wanted to do something like that. I record my videos and upload and Carly streamed live. My mom didn’t even let me have YT until I was 17 or 18. I had to convince her to let me show my face.

My mom always told me I need to watch things for my age. Who freaking cares if your 30 y/o son still likes Pokemon? Let him like it. Interests are what keep us sane. Mocking it because it’s ‘not our age’ is just something you shouldn’t do.

Sometimes I really hate this culture. It makes autistic people feel bad for being themselves. Or anyone.

Making someone feel ashamed for liking something is far more childish than a 30 y/o watching Pokemon. There I said it. Making someone feel bad for being themselves and wanting them to change to fit your standards is far more childish than a 20 y/o hugging a teddy bear.

You can cause us e to have serious mental health issues as a result of this. Making us feel like that have to fake because you’ll shame them for being themselves.

We have to mask in our daily lives in a world for NTs!

My mom needs to understand the mindless boring adult drone she wants me to be will NEVER happen. EVER!!!

Ever since I turned 18, my mom always child shamed me ‘thinking with a child’s mind.’ Most of us are developmentally delayed. Physically you’re 18 but mentally you’re 16.  If I have a small meltdown because I can’t control my emotions she’ll call it a ‘tantrum,’

I was new to the so-called adult world. What did she expect? It to come out of my ass?

My mom claims to be autistic but can’t tell a meltdown from a tantrum.

I am starting to strengthen my anti trust shield. I can’t trust someone who tells you to be yourself and they make you feel bad for being yourself because it’s not ‘adult’ like.

It seems like my mom wants me to be a mindless drone not allowed to like anything because she thinks only kids can like it. On Xmas, I called what my grandma got me a ‘mystery box’ and my mom even said to stop acting like a kid. I got the ‘mindless drone’ idea because anything remotely out of my mom’s age league is childish to her. My mom showed me this teen with autism who doesn’t care what people think. Not Greta but another girl.

I told my mom her folks accept her quirkiness. You child shame me. So you cannot compare me to her.

Cut us some slack. We are in a blind, confusing world for Pete’s sake!

Imagine being in a world not knowing what is expected of you but people think you’re a mind reader rather than actually confirming things with you. Now that’s hard. Calling it ‘common sense’ not realizing we are not like the rest.

People need to accept our interests rather than mocking them for not being age-appropriate. This is the 21st century stop making us feel bad for something we like.

You should be teaching kids to be themselves no matter who finds it silly, not normalizing the abuse. There was this Big Bang Theory episode where someone’s mom came to down. I think it was Sheldon’ s? Or the Disney show Bunked when you finally see Tiffany’s mom. I guess that is what my mom thinks an adult is supposed to be like and anything outside of that is childish.

Or the iCarly episode when Carley and her friends tried finding Spencer some friends that are his age and when those guys talk about taxes and stuff. Is this what adults are supposed to be like? Can’t do ANYTHING that ‘seems’ remotely childish?

If you don’t want me making fun of you for liking my little pony then don’t make me feel bad for still collecting plushies.

You ‘adults’ are the biggest hypocrites to ever live. You preach for people to be themselves then proceed to mock and child shame us when we are ourselves. And you wonder why we isolate ourselves.

That will set an example for the next generation not making someone feel bad for simply being themselves. If they’re a bully that’s one thing but your 20 something-year-old isn’t hurting anyone for liking Paw Patrol. Ask yourself would Spongebob Squarepants be as popular as it is if only kids watched it? They wouldn’t have the ratings they have if their only audience was kids.

SpongeBob would not have lasted 20 years if only kids like it and talked about it. That reminds me. Whenever I had obsessions I was punished by being barred from talking about it.  Why is it that NTs can have obsessions but we can’t? The teacher barred me from talking about SpongeBob but not the other kids from talking about Family Guy and South Park. Constantly reciting quotes from the show.  So they punish me but not the kids talking about Family Guy. At least Spongebob was safer for kids. Family Guy has content that a mature audience would understand. It’s even rated Mature. This makes me mad that we can’t have obsessions but NTs can. Instead of punishing us teach us how to control it. How can we learn control if you just punish and take it away?

I loved my PS2 my mom took it away because I played it too much. I only play it on weekends and on my breaks from school.

I could have been doing much worse like stealing but my mom punishes me for an innocent activity. Why not teach us how to regulate our obsessions rather than punishing us/taking it away?

The point is I would rather like someone who is childish and an amazing person than someone who is a boring drone adult and they’re an asshole.

You can talk about taxes and your silly hobby. Stop normalizing that it’s wrong to be goofy and silly. Some of these ‘childish’ things you mock us for could be a stim for the person to help them regulate their environment.

Your son/daughter could be addicted to drugs yet you make them feel dirty for having an innocent hobby.

I’d like your input on this topic. You can submit your story. Refer to the ‘submit your story’ page on my blog which has some info. If you felt like society mocked you for things you like, I’d like your take.

We need to stop being judgemental and start embracing. The world would be boring if everyone was your vision of what an adult is ‘suppose’ to be like.

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1 Comment

  • Reply Nicole Corrado March 16, 2020 at 1:54 pm

    I like that at 18 you self identified as being more like 16. I also sometimes identify as about 3-5 years younger than my chronological age. I also sometimes feel more like a baby boomer age person,even though I am in my 30s.

    In the Netherlands, a person up to age 22 can be sentenced as a youth if they commit a crime yet have a developmental disability.

    There is a big difference from self identifying as younger, and someone else infantilazation labelling or age labelling another person. I cringe when I hear neurotypicals describing neurodivergent adults as having the mental age of a preschooler or infant, because of the (I agree, very fun “kids” TV shows”) and other “kids” things they like, or because of behaviour in a crisis. I have spoken about this at large in my article on policing and missing persons bulletins, which are not usually written by the person who is missing. (Though there was a Canadian woman in 2018 who reported herself missing when lost on a hike!)

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