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Hello folks. this post is going to be about how I would not have made it during the ‘old days’ aka when your parents grew up. My mom was talking about how she misses the old days
and wants them to come back. I would not have made it.
Having my Autistic traits read wrong for instance. Someone can mistake my lack of eye contact as ‘disrespectful’ when eye contact is uncomfortable for autistics. Autistic people have been around, it’s just they never got the help they needed due to stigmas. Look at how my mom, grandma, and aunt treated me before it crossed their mind I was autistic and this was in the early 2000s. Don’t you think way before then would be much worse?
My aunt always misread not understanding what was expected of me right away and I was always hit for it. Back then, folks thought the child needed ‘discipline’ look how that worked out for me.
My aunt’s way of ‘helping’ me with my homework is yelling at me. I was learning nothing with her ‘help.’ Yelling at me when I clearly was having trouble with math. I clearly had a learning disability and my aunt thought yelling at me is ‘help.’ Rather than coming up with a system. It takes me time to understand things. I wasn’t pretending to struggle.
When boomers saw my undetected autism as acting up, I was struggling in an environment that was not for me. The teachers have no clue how to handle me. This was the early 2000s.
How could I have made it when my mom came up (which was in the 60s) when in the early 2000s, my folks assumed I was acting up when my mom knew I had ADHD, and chose not to get me into a therapist to find out what’s going on.
Boomers think no eye contact is ‘disrespectful’ when eye contact is discomforting for autistic people. Remember ‘look at me when I am talking to you?’
I would not have made it during that time.
Autistic people can take phrases literally. When I was in second grade, you know how the teacher will say ‘your homework is X?’ Well the teacher would say ‘tonight for homework I want you to do X’ I took what she said literally that I had to do my homework at night time. I played a game to pass the time. My mom ask me if I did my homework and I said not yet, the teacher said to do it tonight. Rather than explaining the confusion, I may have had with the teacher, she spanked me. If my mom had no time to explain any confusions I may have and resort to punishing. Might I add this was the early 2000s, what would it be like during my mom’s time? All my mom had to do was say ‘the teacher doesn’t mean it literally, she is just saying ‘when you get home.’ Also, kids do after-school clubs, and it’s dark by the time the club is done when time goes back. Also, my mom knew I needed help with my homework and she didn’t get home until 6 or 7.
In another case, I forgot to show my mom papers from the school when the school is holding events like a book fair, sending out flyers if parents want to volunteer. My mom wouldn’t let me go to Indiana Beach, an end-of-the-year trip the school did. it took passing my science test for her to change her mind. Punished all because I forgot to show my mom papers from school. One time she took away a weekend of TV for each paper I forgot to show her.
Innocent things that were caused my undetected autism were punished instead of seeking help. My mom could have asked me and I tell her I just forgot to show it to her nothing to do with hiding. And I called her as soon as I got home and she can ask me if the school sent anything etc.
I got home at 3:30, she got home at 6 or 7 and expects me not to forget if the school sent stuff.
I am implying if the 21st century was rough due to the lack of info about autism, how would the 20th century be any different?
What my folks did to me (at times) was abuse but abuse isn’t in the boomer dictionary. Like trying to use someone’s dog to ‘scare me into acting right’ who thinks that’s a good idea to do to a child? Oh, that’s right. If I had a kid I wouldn’t have done NONE of what my folks did to me. I would think they have something undetected and try my best to get it solved. If I had a kid I’d email their teachers letting them know that I am trying my best to find a therapist I feel suits them
Theoretically, I would not last a minute during my mom’s time if this is how folks respond to a child in distress. My distress was always seen as misbehaving.
I don’t think our generation is soft, we are just learning what was glamorized when our parents came up is not right and want ya’ll to do better. Want ya’ll to be educated on mental health issues. I rather someone be sensitive and soft than a hard asshole. For example, your parents say work hard, Gen Z/milinals are replacing it with work smart. What is so wrong with being sensitive? Nothing. I feel folks just want an excuse to come down on someone.
My mom wants the old days back but I don’t. Although I do miss the late 2000s and 2010s.