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Being An Autistic Adult Is Harder Than You Think

April 8, 2021

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I lost count of how many times I have had requests for me to thrive denied because I am an adult. Last year, I had to be interviewed by a doctor from SSI. Interviews make me extremely anxious. I just don’t know how to answer certain questions. I asked for my mom to come with me ONLY for her to inform the doctor of my anxiety and to not let it influence his decision or to clarify a question he may ask because I will misunderstand the question. It was denied of course, because I am an adult. Some people with extreme anxiety will get mutism (the inability to speak for themselves). I believe as a result of my request being denied, I was denied SSI fast.  I may have misunderstood a question I was asked and my answer gave the doctor the impression that I did not need SSI. At least my mom could have gone over the interview with me. To inform me of possible trick questions and what to say. Sometimes those doctors may ask trick questions or do something to see if you need SSI (ex drop a pen)

Because I was applying for mental conditions, he likely asked a trick question.

Remember autistic people do not pick up social cues very well. So it’s possible I missed cues that the guy was tricking me. I mean the question was a ‘trick’ question as a test. If you were applying for a physical condition, the guy dropped a pen and judge based on how fast you picked it up. If it takes you 5 minutes just to get in a position to get it, he will know you can’t work if you can’t even pick up a pen fast. On the other hand, for a mental condition or maybe an invisible condition like IBS, it’s unclear what the guy will do to ‘test’ your workability.  He probably figured since I answered his questions I could work. So stigmas may be what caused me to get denied after the interview. Rather than looking at how the person can do ‘easy jobs’ you have to look at other stuff.

It doesn’t matter how ‘easy’ the job is if the person can’t hold a job due to taking off for appointments and routine tests.

This all boils down to having my request denied. Sadly, people want to deny people with disabilities requests because they’re adults. Disabilities aren’t nuked from existence when someone becomes an adult. Imagine being an autistic adult, you need a certain request. Someone denies it because you’re an adult and you fail as a result of not having your request granted. It’s easier when you are a kid or teen because a doctor won’t see you without a parent or guardian. After all, you have to be 18. As a little example.  Therefore you have someone to speak for you in the event you can’t. Also, a child can’t legally consent to treatment or whatever the doctor has to do. You have someone to help you. A world that just looks at my age rather than why I am asking for help, I can’t thrive in a world like that. Would you look at a person in a wheelchair or struggling to walk and say ‘Sorry, I can’t help you, you’re an adult? You need to learn to walk by yourself.’ Why do that to us if you wouldn’t do it to someone with a physical disorder? Think of it this way, turning away our requests because we’re adults, imagine that’s one wheelchair you’re denying for a physically disabled person. That’s one hearing aid you’re denying a deaf person, that’s one walking stick thing you’re denying a blind person. Enough is enough. Nts need to stop holding us to their standards. We will NEVER be like you Nts, so stop trying to make it happen, it’s not going to happen!

I am implying the treatment of people with visible disabilities vs invisible disabilities. if you park in the disabled parking space and the person sees you with no aid, they will assume you are misusing it.

Maybe if we had more education and acceptance of autism, it would be easier for us. I don’t think Nts will ever get it. Instead of trying to make us accommodate the Nts, get a feel of how we learn, how we operate, etc. You are damaging us trying to make us like Nts, that’s saying you can’t accept us for us and we need to be like this to please you. If someone needs a request, give it to them. Don’t use them being an adult as an excuse. I can sign papers, I just need someone to explain what I am signing. I don’t understand how some people explain things. Given my history with Nts, they get annoyed and insult me. So I ask for someone to come with me to clarify to save trouble. That is all. Really. I guess a small adjustment is ‘too much’ for the Nts thus that’s why they deny our requests.

I don’t hate ALL NTS, just the ones who bully people with disabilities, mental illnesses, etc. It’s just hard to believe there is still good in people when you were treated like shit your entire life.

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