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I Am Tired Of My Mom Wanting Me To Socialize

January 16, 2021

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Believe it or not, autism affects social skills, which makes us subject to bullying. They will not know you are autistic but notice something ‘off’

Due to the past trauma when I was in school when I was bullied, I shut myself out. Due to how easily NTs try their best to find malicious intent in what I say, I see no point in even trying. When my mom asked that lady at Target about a job, she told the lady she wants me out socializing. Completely forgetting how hard that is for me. My mom thinks a job is the ONLY way for me to ‘be around people my age.’ When I can find groups related to my interests.

It’s not that I don’t want NT friends, how I communicate and see things may not be on par. Let’s say Joe tells me a story. I may name a parallel experience I had. Joe can see it as making it about me while my intentions were to show Joe he is not the only one. Folks feel alone in certain situations and a simple reassurance can show them they are not alone.

NTS always try their very best to add subtext that is not even there to paint themselves the victim and me the bad guy. On Twitter, someone voiced their thoughts on teachers who have stupid bathroom policies. I sided with them saying something like why do these teachers think these kids are robots or something. Honestly, I don’t remember what I said I’m paraphrasing.

Now context clues between the OP and other replies tell you we are clearly talking about teachers who do these evil practices. A teacher came on the thread under my answer saying something like ‘nice you think that of me’ why was she upset if she doesn’t do the behavior being called out? That’s one thing I never understood about NTS is why they get upset at behavior being called out if they don’t do it and if they know it doesn’t apply to them. Why did this woman get upset with me if she doesn’t do the behavior that is being called out? I did not say ‘all teachers are monsters.’ But she added a subtext that was not there. I should not have to coddle. Miss ONE detail and I am taken out of context. For all she knows, (as an example) every single teacher I had denied us basic bodily rights but it’s my fault I think badly of teachers? Blame the spoiled apples that tarnished your name, not the person who was subject to the abuse received by the bad actor!

Keep in mind the abusee probably didn’t have a nice teacher like her.

If you have been abused and bullied all your life, that is all you know. You will not know what it’s like to have someone who is kind to you.

Blaming someone for having a bad view of a certain group because that group bullied them, is a dick move. Maybe they never had a teacher that wanted to help them. 

Now noticed how I said ‘these teachers’ which means we are talking about the bad apples. The OP was about teachers who do what they are calling out. Nowhere did I say ‘all teachers’ but the lady painted it like that’s what I said. I could have been talking about MY teachers but she assumed it was about her. Why would anyone want to ‘socialize’ when it always results in this bull shit?

Also even if she did do what is being called out blaming the person calling out what you do instead of listening to them tell you why what you do is wrong, is also not a good thing to do.

Twitter has a character limit so the woman should have been understanding that I had no room for a damn paragraph.

My mom calls out when I over-explain but doesn’t understand that if I don’t, I will be taken out of context. It happens every time. Well, maybe not every single time. But 85% of the time. Sometimes I can explain to the person other times when I try they block me out.

I am fed up with this. Not socializing is way easier. I don’t have to worry about people taking me out of context, adding subtext to simply have a reason to think differently of me.

I wish my mom understood this. No one wants to be social when it results in being taken out of context.

I talked about being read wrong here.

I am tired. I am at my wits end with this.

My mom sees wanting me out around people. I see going back to being bullied and hated by everyone because of my poor social skills and how I miss non-verbal cues. Remember autistic behavior is read differently by NTs. They read it as ‘odd’ ‘weird’ ‘rude’ ‘mean’ etc.

This blog post is an example of making a group run me out.

If I must socialize it needs to be with people who share the same interests. How can we have a conversation if they know about sports when I don’t?

Ask yourself, if you were hated by everyone and bullied your entire life, would that cause you to shield yourself away from people because your mental health can’t afford to go through that trauma again?

My mental health can’t afford to go back to be hated by everyone due to being misunderstood.


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